Taking Life One Day at a Time and Talking About it

So, here is an update on me spiritually. In this blog I will touch base on a few things, including: My new Daily Bible, My Sex, Love and Dating in a modern world class, Satin’s holdings on me, my praying capabilities and my relationship with God.
The thing I am most excited about is the new Bible that was given to me as a gift by my amazing male friend who takes me on dates, Taylor ) haha. He has been a blessing a has played a key role in me accepting Jesus Christ as my savior and really accepting the teachings of the Bible more openly. The Bible is set up so I read a few verses that are related to one another each day, Taylor said they are not in order. (I unfortunately have only read the back cover, after this blog I will be doing my first daily reading and will know more about it.) I’m not sure about them taking everything out of its place and putting verses next to each other saying they are alike passages. However, I am excited Taylor was smart enough to get the the only version I truly trust for it’s pureness and truth, the King James Version!
After Taylor gave me my new Bible and took me back to the place we had our first date we headed to our growth group at church: The New Rules of Love, Sex and Dating. We watched the introduction sermon by pastor Andy. I want to start by saying I absolutely suggest this to ANYONE! Any age, gender or marital status. Although he is speaking to singles about dating he touches base on a lot of mistakes married couples make and how we singles can prevent those mistakes. I would imagine these skills could still be applied to a marriage to strengthen it. I found it extremely helpful and the biggest message I got out of it is the “right person myth”…. The myth that when you meet the “right person” everything just “goes right” with no effort. Now, I feel like a total idiot for ever thinking that way, but I did. I thought “if he is the one we will get along every second of every day and he will do nothing to annoy me and he will be so perfect he will deal with every situation like I want him to. He will know exactly what I want when I want it, we will deal with things the same exact way and want the same exact things and then our life will just be perfect”. Wow. I mean, really, wow. I found that logical and sane? While I had never outright sat there and thought those words or written them out (my checklist may beg to differ…) they were definitely what I believed. He proposed a new way of going about things. Starting with, are you the person you want to be with wants to be with? A good example is all of these guys who say they want a “good girl” and when I tell them I won’t have relations with them until we are married they scadoodle. They should ask themselves “is a good girl going to want to be with a guy like me?” I can tell you what I have had to answer to them time and time again, no. No, you are not the person I want to be with. I would say I had this one down as far as the big levels go. I have my head on straight, know what I want and am working for it, am intelligent, a “good girl”, a strong and faithful Christian and I strive to be a good person. Those are all of the biggest things I would look for in a person and I believe that type of person would expect and want the same out of me. (well, I want them to want a good girl, I don’t want them to be a good girl too haha) Now, when he got down and dirty he pulled out a verse I am very familiar with, actually any of us who are familiar with the Bible are. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-5
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
I am familiar with this because when Taylor and I were having a bad day I thought “I need some Bible verses to help me through this, after I read my daily bible quote I will search for some.” Well, my daily bible app on my phone was that verse… I didn’t even need to take the effort to search the internet. Sign from God? Oh yeah. So, I sent it to Taylor and he tells me they read that at his brother and fathers weddings. It was definitely a sign.
Back to my point, he said to execute each of these traits in every relationship with anyone you see potential in. Also, be sure they have these traits. I personally think the willingness to exhibit these traits is just as good, as long as each person truly means it in their heart. I don’t think the first time someone is impatient you kick them to the curb.

**I will finish this later, I need to get some work done today!**

Although Pastor Andy didn’t talk about this part, these are good to live by as well:
“Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Man! These mom’s are not very friendly! It’s not that they aren’t nice…they just keep to their cliques and don’t socialize with others who have no friends… like, well, me.
I understand it though. I’ve been that mom who had the clique and while we didn’t maliciously not “let anyone in” we were so wrapped up in each other and our upcoming social events that we never took the time to really look around and try to make new friends. I would, however, say I was the best at doing so when I had the time. I would arrange a young mom’s get together when many of the girls I graduated with were pregnant and my daughter was just a wee baby. I was sure to invite people I knew would never otherwise socialize with my friends. Unfortunately, one of my very good friends growing up was pushed out of our mommy clique. I don’t blame the other, more stable, girls for doing so. But I do blame myself for allowing it, not sticking up for her, or at least keeping a friendship with her on my own, separate from the group. I say that, but at the time it sincerely felt like the best decision to cut ties with a young mom who’s boyfriend and father of her child had tried to commit suicide in front of them and many many other unacceptable things of which I really don’t even remember now. Perhaps we did make the right choice after all. It’s just unfortunate because she now has her life on track and won’t give me the chance to rekindle our friendship.
Many things have changed that have lead me to where I am today, friendless. One of my good friends has moved away, another is too consumed in a different lifestyle than I have to make time for any of us, and another, the saddest story of all, went through a rough break up with the father of her child (the details of her moods swings can be found posted on facebook over the last few months) and has just started acting almost as a child.
Needless to say, here I am, really in need of some friends. Yet in all of these mommy and me groups no one can take the time to even say hello to me. I am sure to introduce my daughter to any child I can and compliment the mother in some way in hopes of building some sort of friendship. None of it seems to be working. I have to wonder if it is the highly obvious age gap of sometimes two decades between myself and the mothers… I suppose I should try a young mommies group. Only issue with that is young mothers tend to not be as stable as I am. And many of them have not found religion as I have. If you really think about it, only about 3 years ago I was off doing some things I could not fathom doing in the state of mind I am in today. 3 years is typically not enough to have your head on as straight as I currently do. And many of them don’t have the ability to cope with situations as well as I do, or perhaps their situations were or are even worse than mine so no amount of coping could allow them to be where I am today. I really can’t blame most of these young mothers for still being unstable. Just because I can emphasize and understand them doesn’t mean I want to be a part of their group. I’m looking for people who are a bit better than me so I can have higher standards of living, rather than lower.
I certainly hope I will be in a place where I have a new group of friends one day, perhaps it will be when I am older, established with a man and have more than one child. I only hope that the few stragglers of friends I have left will be enough for me until then!
So, note to all mommies and a note-to-future-self, no matter what your age, please try to be friendly in mommy and me classes!

I posted this as a comment to an article I fond:
I found this when searching “how to stop my shopping addiction”. I get paid on Friday’s. After this weekend I already had to transfer money from my savings to my checking to make it to this coming Friday (next pay day). This happens every week…
For me it’s not only shopping but events and things that take up my time and keep me busy. This week alone I had to pay for 2 church growth groups, gymnastics and soccer (for my daughter). I, of course, had to go out and buy her all the needed gear so she could be the best dressed and look like she was the most ready. I also went fall shopping for myself and my daughter. I feel SO good wearing something new… I made my boyfriend take me by the mall to buy a new outfit for his birthday party because I just couldn’t show up in the dress I had on and feel comfortable. Maybe that is when I should have googled for solutions, but it wasn’t.
I always feel like I need something else. If I made a list today, bought it all this week, I’d have another list made up before the cashier even handed me my receipt! IE: I wanted a particular style coach bag, I found it for a steal of a price. I thought I would be content and satisfied, yet here I am thinking “man, this is too casual, I need to get another one”… this is not OK! I am a single mom (no child support what so ever) and can’t keep going this way.
My plan is to go home (when I get a free minute between my busy schedule!) and make up something like 15 outfits each for my daughter and I. I would imagine off of those 15 outfits I will have enough to mix and match into more outfits. I will write down what I need to complete outfits, or staple pieces I feel I need for the season and ONLY go out and buy those items! I’m going to keep up on my laundry so I don’t have to go buy stuff to wear because my clothes are all dirty. (I just washed EVERY PIECE of clothing we have- it took soo many loads and days- that’s how behind I get!) I think I may join the gym if I feel like our current extracurricular activities are not enough to keep me busy enough to stay out of the mall/outlets! I already tried the “cash budget” and I end up swiping my card anyway and dealing with it later. So, I don’t know if I will retry the cash budget or what…
Wish me luck…

Welcome to Blog.com.

This is your first post, produced automatically by Blog.com. You should edit or delete it, and then start blogging!